Money. A topic that almost universally causes stress and shame. Fear of not having enough, not knowing what to do with it, fighting with your spouse about it. There are all kinds of reasons that money might be stressing you out, find out what you can do about it.
1. You have no idea what’s going on
A huge cause of money stress for many people is that they just don’t know what’s going on with their money. Do they have room to breathe or are they on their last $10? They don’t know because they’ve got their head in the sand. What you don’t know can’t hurt you, right? Definitely not true! You’ve got to start paying attention to your money, know where it’s coming from and where it’s going. Just knowing this will majorly reduce your stress around money.
2. You don’t have a plan
Not having a plan for your money makes the whole thing way more stressful. I know it can be a dreaded *B* word, but you have got to make friends with the budget! I know that sounds intimidating but a budget is simply a plan for your money. It’s you telling your money where to go instead of wondering where it went.
If you want to be in control of your money you have to create a budget. A budget is not restrictive, it’s permission to spend. When you plan your spending, buying that dress is way more exciting because you know exactly how much you can spend. The alternative is feeling guilty, worrying that you don’t have enough money to cover it and hiding it from your husband. Reduce your stress, make a plan for your money.
3. You’re focusing on the enormity of it
Thinking about everything you might need to do to get your finances in order can be super stressful. While it’s important to have a game plan for your money, try focusing on just the next step. What is the next thing I can do to get my money in order? This will help you to keep moving forward. Just one foot in front of the other, take the next step.
4. You don’t have your priorities straight
Money can be stressful if you don’t know where your priorities lie. It’s easy to get overwhelmed and just deal with the loudest item first instead of the most important one. (And usually, the loudest items are creditors).
When making your budget (because you’re making budgets now, remember?) the first thing you have to take care of is your four walls. That’s food, shelter (including utilities), clothing, and transportation. These come first no matter what. When you have your priorities straight it’s easier to take the next step towards getting control of your money.
5. You’re embarrassed that it got to this point
It’s always hard to admit how bad you’ve let something get, whether it’s a relationship, your health or your finances. But being embarrassed about your situation is just causing you to stress out more. You’ve got to let go of the shame that you’re applying to the situation and just take the next action.
When your brain starts to play the shame and embarrassment loop surrounding your finances redirect your brain by saying “I am figuring this out” and then do the very next thing. Doesn’t that feel so much better than telling yourself you suck and not getting anything done?
6. You’re telling yourself a story
"I’m bad at math"
"I can’t manage money"
"I don’t understand business stuff"
These are all just stories that you’re telling yourself that are stressing you out about money. You can change the story. Even if the only change you can make right now is to add the word yet at the end, at least then you have hope. Try writing down the things you tell yourself about money and rewrite them to tell yourself a new story.
- I am bad at math = I am figuring it out
- Managing money is hard = I am learning to manage my money
- I don’t understand business stuff = I don’t understand this business stuff yet
Just telling yourself a new story will reduce the stress and drama around money.
Bookkeeping seem complicated?
You know bookkeeping is vital to the success of your business. Stop procrastinating and start getting it done with this simple checklist. You’ll get:
- A list of exactly what tasks you need to do each week, month, quarter, and year so you can stay on track.
- Tax due date reminders so you stay on the IRS’s good side
- All the satisfying checkboxes so you can finally mark bookkeeping off your to do list
7. You’re imagining the worst case scenario
Usually what causes us the most stress is not what’s actually happening but what we imagine could happen. "Money is tight" becomes "I’m going to lose my business, not be able to find a job and we’re going to be living in a cardboard box on the street".
Possible? Yes. Likely? Probably not.
There are a whole bunch of steps between money being tight and figuring out the best place to set up your cardboard box. But we immediately go to the worst case scenario. When your brain gets into this loop write down everything your brain is thinking about what’s going to happen and go back over it for reasonableness.
- "I’m going to be stuck living in a box" - "I have family and friends who would let me stay with them".
- "I’m going to lose my business and not be able to find a job" - "I have marketable skills, I can find something."
When you really stop to examine your thoughts you’ll realize the worst case scenario is very unlikely to happen and really not worth putting your mental energy towards.
8. You think things will make you happy
The newest phone, the latest gadget, the latest course. Not being content with the things that we already have can be a big cause of money stress. If you’re always spending money trying to keep up with Suzy super-business-woman you’re going to be totally stressed.
Focus on the things you already have and how you can put them to their best use instead of being focused on what you don’t have. An attitude of contentment will keep your wallet full and your stress at bay.
9. You don’t know anything about money
I find that I get easily stressed when I’m confused about something. So perhaps money is stressing you out because you feel like you don’t understand it. Where does it come from, what do you do with it, and how can you get more? The easiest way to reduce this kind of stress is to learn as much as you can about what’s stressing you out.
Enter Google! Or if you want a little more direction check out anything by Dave Ramsey. His no-nonsense, super simple approach to money will start you off in the right direction.
10. You’re taking the load on all by yourself
Money fights and money problems are one of the leading causes of divorce, so yes money can be stressful. Especially if you’re handling it all by yourself. You have to work with your partner to both make decisions when it comes to money. I’m the nerd in our household (obviously) so I usually handle most of the money stuff, but we discuss what we’re doing all the time. We talk about what we’re saving for and where we’re at, what big purchases we need to make.
Working through it together means that I don’t get stressed about it all being on my shoulders. Share the load and reduce stress by working together on your finances.
If money is stressing you out, seriously consider some of these ideas to reduce the stress around it. Money is just an exchange of value, don’t let it cost you your health and sanity.
